No More Naked Virgins

By Rachelle Bowden in Arts & Entertainment on Feb 10, 2006 9:10PM

Women of Chicago, this is your lucky week. Chicagoist knows you have difficult dilemmas in your lives. We understand that sometimes, let’s face it, you have a hard time figuring things out – you know, being women and all. But not to worry, we’re here to help.

Let’s start with one of the most important decisions a woman makes every day: what to wear. This can be especially tricky for you working gals. Not too sexy, but not too frumpy – we know, we know, it’s just too much. To our delight, the Associated Press has delivered some wonderful news via the Sun Times:

“Working women rejoice: You'll actually have stylish-yet-appropriate clothes to wear next fall. Even better, there also will be clothes for you to wear to dinner, parties and play dates -- with or without the kids.”

That’s right ladies, the perfect wardrobe is right around the corner, so you can stop your fretting. There will actually be clothes for you to purchase and wear throughout the coming year. For dinners! And parties! And play dates! You will not have to go naked.

Now that we have that settled, let’s move on. We know this may be a sensitive topic, but for all you virgins out there, we need to have a little talk. No, not that kind of virgin. Silly girls. We mean you novices who have never hired a personal trainer or purchased a painting. Duh.

Bouffe (2312 W. Leland Ave.) will celebrate the publication of A Virgin’s Guide to Everything by Lauren McCutcheon on Saturday from 3 to 5 p.m. The book claims to help woman though a variety of “first times." You will learn “not to pile that spicy tuna roll with a teaspoon of wasabi,” and “understand why going to a gynecologist can be wholly liberating” and find out “what to do if you really need to use the bathroom while on your first romantic getaway.”

So, if any of those questions have been vexing you, we encourage you to check it out. As you know, Chicagoist is quite the experienced old hag, so we’ll just be going for the cooking tips and cheese tasting. Mmm...cheese.

Thanks, Joanna!