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This Week In Stupid

By Matt Wood in News on Feb 13, 2006 5:23PM

"I loved Jon Stewart in 'It's a Wonderful Life.'"
After a few slow weeks for stupid news, we hit the jackpot this week. Special thanks to Gov. Blagojevich for not watching TV for the past two years:

On Tuesday, a Chicago man was sentenced to 18 months probation for leaving his 82-year old, wheelchair-bound mother outside in the cold while he gambled for 15 hours at the Majestic Star Casino in Hammond.

A suburban policeman lost his job after he wrote a fake parking ticket to get back at someone for supposedly taking his wife's parking spot at a Sam's Club.

On Thursday, Governor Rod appeared on The Daily Show for a taped segment about his order to require pharmacists fill prescriptions for emergency contraception, getting narrowly edged out of looking like the biggest tool on the segment by the fundamentalist pharmacist. In case you didn't see it, you can watch here (it's called "Pill of Rights"). Look, we know not everyone watches every single episode of The Daily Show like we do, but does he live in a bubble?

School administrators at Glenbard West High School cancelled a student play after the performers staged an "undressed rehearsal," in which they practiced in t-shirts, boxers, and togas as a way to loosen up before their performance.

A 12-year old in Aurora was suspended from school and charged with a felony for possessing a drug look-alike at school, which was actually just a bag of powdered sugar. The boy said he brought the sugar to school for a science project, and joked with friends that it was cocaine. Aurora police also announced that they are launching sting operations at all area Dominick's, Jewel Osco's, and bakeries.

Finally, we wish we could communicate the irony of this happening again this week, but we don't want to cause any more trouble. A 62-year old South Side man was charged with attempted murder and aggravated battery after he got drunk and attacked a woman with a 17-inch samurai sword.