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The Fictional Oprah Bus

By Joanna Miller in Arts & Entertainment on Feb 21, 2006 7:49PM

As many as 70 old ladies have been scammed out of the chance of a lifetime, and by chance of a lifetime, we of course mean basking in the presence of Ms. Oprah Winfrey. Prosecutors in Maryland said Monday that Terrance Hawkins, 44, booked a bus trip to Chicago, including tickets to the Oprah show, and charged $500 per person.

The bus, sadly, never came. Their trip to the holy land thwarted, we imagine the women are very, very disappointed.

Hawkins has been indicted on theft charges and faces up to 15 years in prison.oprah.jpg
Before he’s tried, maybe Oprah can have him on the show for a good old-fashioned Freying. Or, at least fly all those broken-hearted fans in Maryland out to Chicago to see the show. Waddaya say, O?

In other Oprah news, Britain’s The People newspaper says the talk show queen has altered her will and plans to leave her entire fortune to African orphans. The story’s a little short on details, but the paper does have a near-full-page photo of an old, naked British actor performing “lewd and degrading sex acts” on the front page today, so we really have no reason to question their accuracy.