Teach Your Children Well

By Joanna Miller in News on Mar 29, 2006 7:59PM

Children can be such a pain what with the constant attention and responsibility they demand. We know, it’s a lot to handle. But the fact is, they just can’t function on their own. They need someone to be a figure of authority, be it a parent, grandparent, nanny or Scientology minder. This is a simple concept, but one some local guardians seem to have forgotten.

Earlier this week, a 3-year-old girl, wearing only a diaper and T-shirt, was found wandering across a busy four-lane stretch of Devon Avenue in west suburban Bartlett. Her grandmother was too drunk to notice when she wandered out of the house.

A concerned motorist took the child to a nearby White Hen Pantry and called the police. They convinced the girl to lead them to her house where they promptly arrested grandma, who has been charged with a misdemeanor count of endangering the health or life of the child and released on $1,000 bond.

And while teenagers can probably be trusted to not wander out in the street half-naked, you can’t serve them booze; otherwise, all bets are off. A City Council committee wants to make it illegal for parents to look the other way when teenagers bring alcohol into their homes. Until now, a legal loophole has protected parents from liability unless they directly supply liquor to minors.

If the ordinance passes, parents caught with underage drinkers in the house would face mandatory jail time of at least three days and fines up to $200 per minor. But if you are willing to go to jail for your kids' right to party, we're sure you'll be, like, the most popular parents ever.

Baby alcoholic via barcoder 96