There's a Dragon in Chicago

By Alicia Dorr in Miscellaneous on Mar 29, 2006 11:16PM

Right now, the Shedd Aquarium is getting ready to fully unveil its newest animal—a huge effing dragon.

While this specimen might not be the largest one of its kind, the fact remains that the Komodo dragon is the largest lizard in the world, and it's about to make its first public appearance in Chicago.

Circa present-day Indonesia—not medieval tales from Europe or Asia—the dragon can be 10 feet long, eat a whole pig in a minute (or something ridiculous like that) and will stalk its prey for miles and miles. It will also bite your celebrity husband's foot, if need be. Oh, yeah—and they have a mouth full of sharp teeth, like a shark's, which are covered in deadly bacteria. In the wild, this is to ensure their prey stays dead. In the aquarium, this will provide a new, effective boogeyman for parents of irritating children who see the exhibit.

Apparently a huge effing dragon isn't enough, though, so the aqarium is surrounding it with other, smaller (but no less exciting) lizards. Among them is the world's longest lizard, the crocodile monitor, caiman lizards and basilisks. These are not huge snakes that try to kill boy wizards, but hilarious goofballs that defeat their predators by looking totally ridiculous ... running upright, on the water—the whole nine. Seriously, these things are an America's Funniest Home Video waiting to happen.

Anyway, you can check out the whole crew April 8 and after, when the exhibit opens to non-members. IF the lizards don't escape to a sewer and where they are exposed to nuclear waste.