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Deep Thinking: Thine Scion is Warrior

By Chuck Sudo in Arts & Entertainment on Apr 6, 2006 3:25PM

2006_04_douchebag.jpgWhere's Bakken when we need him? This is tailor-made for his unique wisdom.

This story is fresh in our minds mainly because we saw Wrestlemania last weekend. Jim Hellwig is best known by his wrestling moniker "The Ultimate Warrior". Hellwig takes that a bit too seriously, having legally changed his name to "Warrior" years ago and posting his life philosophy on his insane website.

These days Hellwig and his angry inch travels the campus lecture circuit giving speeches on "diversity" (read: modern-day racist and homophobic conservatism) that would force Ann Coulter's Adam's apple into hiding. A lecture he gave at the University of Conneticut last year devolved into a name-calling shout-fest after Hellwig declared "queering doesn't make the world work." You can watch the video of it at YouTube.

Hellwig gave the identical speech at DePaul yesterday. The lecture, hosted by the DePaul Conservative Alliance, featured these nuggets of wisdom from Hellwig courtesy of Wrestling Observer:

- Gay and lesbian couples (or "queers", for brevity) have the same disease as pedophile priests in the Catholic Church. That must have gone over well at a Catholic university.
- Israelis are "sub-human" because they fight with rocks.
- That his five-year-old daughter would grow up feminine "in every sense of the word."
- Told a lecture attendee to "go masturbate at home" when the attendee complimented Hellwig on his wrestling accomplishments.
- Responding to hard questions with the stock answer "your question doesn't make any sense."

Having watched the UConn video we're of the opinion that the DePaul Conservative Alliance should be ashamed of themselves by giving this idiot's opinions any semblance of credence. Free speech is a protected right (for now), but it's also a privilege, and when one abuses that privilege like Hellwig, we risk losing the right. The DePaul administration - a private institution, we will add - may be acting under the guise of providing equal time for all opinions. But, as a private university, they are not obligated to do so. Hellwig, on whom the homoerotic irony of sweaty, beefy men rolling around half naked in a wrestling ring is lost, should take that shit to Bob Jones University.