Relax, It's Just a Patch

By Joanna Miller on Apr 7, 2006 1:10PM

“The patch” has become a popular substitute for some of the most popular drugs and treatments. The patch can help you stop smoking, keep you from getting knocked up and even help you lose a few pounds. (Seriously though, that weight loss patch is some scary shit. The shakes, man, it gives you the shakes.) There’s something about the patch that makes it a little more fun that regular drugs, kind of like the pot sucker, only not really.

There hasn’t really been a patch that kids can enjoy. That is, until now. Yesterday, the FDA approved the first patch to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, also known as ADHD.

It’s called Daytrana, it’s essentially the same as Ritalin, and it can be worn for nine hours – which will get the kid through the school day without an embarrassing trip to the nurse and the inevitable “Did you forget to take your meds?” question from nosy peers. Because, really, everyone knows what’s up when you go to the nurse every day in the middle of fourth period.

Plus, kids like stickers. They probably won't even realize they're being drugged, er, medicated.

Despite the social advantages, we’re still a little weirded out by this new patch. Is it really necessary to make it easier to medicate for ADHD? Nearly 3.3 million Americans age 19 and younger say no.

And then there’s the issue of the warning label and potential side effects. FDA panels have recommended that the drug’s label caution of side effects that include stroke and hallucinations in addition to insomnia, decreased appetite and nausea and sensitization. Anal leakage, anyone?