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White Sox Players Getting Hassled By "The Man"

By Benjy Lipsman in News on Apr 18, 2006 5:10PM

Chicagoist has always had a healthy dose of disdain for "The Man." We've been known to drive a mile or two over the posted speed limit, and sometimes we go back for a second free sample at Costco -- especially when it's pizza! So we can feel for the members of the Sox who have come under fire from management this week.

First it was Mark Buehrle, who the Sox fined for using the on-field tarp as a Slip-N-Slide during a rain delay on Sunday. Buehrle told the media after the game, "I don't know if I should be talking about this. I got in trouble. … I can't be out there anymore and I can't have any fun."

Kenny Williams played the role of Jewish mother, "I don't want his money, I want his health." And if Chicagoist received a dollar every time we heard, "It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt ..." or "this hurts me more than it hurts you ..." we'd have our own skybox at The Cell by now. Williams also said, "As I've told him twice before, he needs to find another hobby. This one puts his career and his team's chances in jeopardy." Doesn't he already go hunting? I guess, so long as he doesn't go with the Veep, that's OK?

While their GM wasn't busy enough simply stopping players from partaking in fun hobbies. At the request of Sox Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf, Williams told those damn hippies at third base and behind the plate to get a damn haircut. Joe Crede and A.J. Pierzynski were asked to cut their hair because they weren't in compliance with the team rules.

These guys were among the biggest heros in the World Series run last fall, and they're getting harrassed because their hair's too long? And this demand initiated with the guy who allowed Dennis Rodman to wear his hair a different color nearly every game? The two of them need to get their haircuts... and then dye their hair blue or pink. That'll show Jerry who's the boss!