Bikers v. Cretins

By Roland Lara on Apr 20, 2006 4:30PM

Well, the protestors came. About five of them. Turns out the Evil Jackass Monsters of Hate Tour was a little understaffed. But what they lacked in numbers they made up for in unbridled asshattery: shouting vulgarities and waving signs reading “Thank God for Dead Soldiers.”

At a funeral for an Iraq war vet.

Can we stop for a fucking minute here? Think what you will about the war or the grillions of social issues that divide us, can all us with a pulse and a quarter-teaspoon of humanity agree that screaming at mourners is beyond the pale? Honestly. Folks would have to drown puppies while laughing at disabled grandmothers in Daley Plaza on Mother’s Day before they’d approach the level of outrage here.

But saying that the Westboro Baptist Church is an outrage is too obvious. It’s like complaining that Chicago has cold winters or Illinois politics has corruption or Britney Spears makes poor choices.

Anyway, the funeral had its five uninvited protesters, but it also had about 200 bikers, invited members of the Patriot Guard Riders, who we told you about Monday. And it turns out they did not need to shield the mourners from the protestors since the protestors took their toys and went home as soon as the media photographed them, which was long before most of the mourners showed up. The protestors then went to protest at a veterans' hospital. Again with the class with these jokers.

The funeral, by the way, was for Lance Cpl. Philip Martini, 24, a popular high school athlete from Lansing.