Dead Chickens Not As Funny As Rubber Ones

By Alicia Dorr in News on Apr 25, 2006 5:28PM

When you’re young, there’s always something crazy you can do, like break into old abandoned warehouses and pretend you see ghosts. When you’re a Satanist, there’s always something crazy to do, too, like go out into a park and sacrifice some chickens.

While it might seem that this is a bit of rabble-rousing, one thing is certain: whoever left the two dead chickens in a forest preserve on the Northwest Side weren’t looking for a tasty meal. They probably weren’t looking to free the birds from a terrible fate, either, since they left them to bleed to death. The Jefferson Park police captain concluded, after investigating the scene not far from North Clifford Road where residents found the ghastly display, that sacrifice was the only possibility.

Whodunit? Well, there doesn’t seem to be any suspects, but the forest preserve police will be seen patrolling the area a lot more often now. In the meantime, don’t take matters into your own hands Encyclopedia Brown Tracks ‘Em Down style. Just, you know, try not to think about how creepy the case of the two dead chickens is.