But Corruption Isn't Contagious, Right?

By Amy Hart in News on Apr 26, 2006 4:15PM

Yesterday the National Association of Attorneys General met here in Chicago to discuss how to end public corruption. High in the minds of those attending the one-day summit were the recent conviction of former Governor George Ryan, and the ongoing investigations into the administrations of Mayor Daley and Governor Blagojevich.

The goings on in our fair state led Cynthia Canary, Executive Director of the Illinois Campaign for Political Reform, to conclude, "Illinois is apparently a petri dish for corruption. It is a real breeding ground." Oh, hell. Our only experience with petri dishes was growing some bacteria back in high school science class, and not only did it grow really fast, but it smelled bad and looked gross... which, come to think of it, is very similar to political corruption.

University of Illinois at Chicago Professor Dick Simpson then said the Attorneys General needed to focus on stopping political machines because, "Political machines breed corruption just like garbage breeds flies." Oooh, pass the hand sanitizer. Who has time to worry about bird flu when we have corruption spreading like a disease? Oh well, at least we don't have to worry about political machines here in Chicago.