Yet He Neglects To Steal Some Colombia Nariño Supremo

By Erin in Miscellaneous on Apr 26, 2006 11:49AM

As Chicagoist sits down to enjoy our second cup of coffee for the morning, we couldn't help but feel a little sympathetic for the dude who yesterday walked into a Starbucks on North Michigan Avenue and stole one of those fancy-schmancy stainless-steel coffeemakers. After all, we need our coffee too.

But we're only saying that because the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet, not because we condone his thieving ways.

The Bright One had a funny lede, mentioning that the customer clearly couldn't wait in line for his fix, a feeling we know only too well as there is nothing more vexing to a java junkie than standing in line at Starbucks as choad after choad takes ten minutes to order a drink, most of which he'll gulp down before he even hits the sidewalk outside. This is why we have a stockpile of travel mugs and make our coffee at home. Nevertheless, why would a person steal one of those coffee makers? Chicagoist knows they're pretty and all, and perhaps at $1,200 make a coffee so fantastic that it'll not only brew up the best cup of joe you've ever tasted but pick up your dry cleaning and provide you with a little morning nookie as well, but is there a street value to those things that Chicagoist is unaware of? Why bother?

Maybe this is what happens when one goes through caffeine withdrawal. Because we've gotta tell you: if we felt the need to steal essentially worthless merchandise from a Starbucks that didn't include Komodo Dragon Blend®, we're totally going for the new Prince CD because seriously?

That guy rules.

Image cartoonstock.com