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Yet He Neglects To Steal Some Colombia Nariño Supremo

By Erin in Miscellaneous on Apr 26, 2006 11:49AM

As Chicagoist sits down to enjoy our second cup of coffee for the morning, we couldn't help but feel a little sympathetic for the dude who yesterday walked into a Starbucks on North Michigan Avenue and stole one of those fancy-schmancy stainless-steel coffeemakers. After all, we need our coffee too.

But we're only saying that because the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet, not because we condone his thieving ways.

2006_04_coffee.jpgThe Bright One had a funny lede, mentioning that the customer clearly couldn't wait in line for his fix, a feeling we know only too well as there is nothing more vexing to a java junkie than standing in line at Starbucks as choad after choad takes ten minutes to order a drink, most of which he'll gulp down before he even hits the sidewalk outside. This is why we have a stockpile of travel mugs and make our coffee at home. Nevertheless, why would a person steal one of those coffee makers? Chicagoist knows they're pretty and all, and perhaps at $1,200 make a coffee so fantastic that it'll not only brew up the best cup of joe you've ever tasted but pick up your dry cleaning and provide you with a little morning nookie as well, but is there a street value to those things that Chicagoist is unaware of? Why bother?

Maybe this is what happens when one goes through caffeine withdrawal. Because we've gotta tell you: if we felt the need to steal essentially worthless merchandise from a Starbucks that didn't include Komodo Dragon Blend®, we're totally going for the new Prince CD because seriously?

That guy rules.