You Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted To Oil

By Alicia Dorr in News on Apr 26, 2006 8:24PM

It’s no secret that we’re having a problem with gas. The whole damn country is addicted to oil, according to that strange little elfin king of the underworld who thinks he’s the president. And it’s true; as prices soar and drivers reminisce about the time when gas was $1 and some change, it’s important for them to look for just that—some change.

First off, we think everyone should ride bikes. Since that will never happen, though, drivers in the Chicagoland area should put this website on their favorites list. On the up side, Chicagogasprices.com offers a way for visitors to contribute gas prices from around the city and suburbs, and then they list the cheapest prices and where they are daily. On the down side, the lowest price today is $2.87 a gallon, at Speedway. That price is annoying, to say the least.

What makes it even more annoying for people inside the city is the fact that a nickel of that price is a city tax. Daley spoke about the tax earlier this week, basically saying something along the lines of, “too bad, so sad, even though it makes you mad.” And it does, because you know it’s probably going to pay for more of those stupid Segways police are rolling around on like they’re all high and mighty. Next time we see one, we're gonna push 'em and run.

If you’re one of those people who always look on the bright side of things, there’s always Lisa Madigan to think about dreamily. Like a masked crusader out to save the day, ‘ol L. Maddy is ready to take on evil gas stations that are gouging their way to the top. If you are looking for some more tangible positivity, check this out: Car experts giving everyman some advice about gas. Let’s hope their “advice” isn’t just a “cheap way of getting drivers into the auto body shops.” Yeah—we know how it works now, just like we figured out that our parents weren’t really taking pets to the farm.

And on another unnecessarily bad note, gas prices are apparently causing your favorite pizza boy (or awkward-looking, middle-aged man) to suffer. This is only notable because pizza is amazing, and pizza delivery is even better. It’s not at all notable, though, because, well, everyone is suffering because of the gas prices.

Seriously. Get a bike.