City Aldermen Want To Really Earn "Fat Cat" Titles

By Alicia Dorr in News on Apr 28, 2006 8:54PM

We admit: The time that Alderman Burt Natarus said that there should be a speed limit for tour boats on the Chicago River because when he is in his kayak they nearly tip him over with their wake, we laughed. In fact, we probably would pay good money to see a lot of he and his fellow alderpeople's antics.

But we were flabbergasted and just plain pissed off when we heard those fat cats were thinking about asking for a raise. What in the...? you might be saying. If you are, then you’re right. This hodge podge of good old boys, matronly ladies, youthful reformers and whatever else they’ve tried to fit in their nowadays already make $98,000 a year.

Even with this outrageous pay, plenty of them hold their own side jobs and/or run the city’s largest law firms (yeah, it ain’t no thang). But what really irked us is that the explanation is that they have to because if they don’t now they won’t have another chance until 2011. That sounds like a long time from now because we were taught throughout the last century to believe that the year 2000 and beyond would be “The Future” and we still haven’t realized that it’s not.

What also irked us was Fran Spielman’s explanation that they have "no choice.” Those poor, poor aldermen, surrounded by corruption and scandal some of their own making and at least of their own knowledge. Boo-effing-hoo. Alderman Freddrenna Lyle said that the job is no longer “part-time.” We don’t know the last time that you went to a City Council meeting, but fit it in your schedule. Not only will you immediately understand why it’s supposedly not a “part-time job” any longer, but you are literally sure to walk away with a few comedic gems of your own.