The Smelliest Smells Ever Smelled (On The CTA)

By Alicia Dorr in Miscellaneous on May 2, 2006 6:09PM

On the train this morning we accidentally read the Red Eye. We know, we know—we’re sorry, but anyway, our transgressions with the little red rag aren’t the point.

The point is that the tabloid apparently got a bunch of emails on pee. Some column went over what readers think is the smelliest smell on the CTA, and many cited piss as the worst—and the rest of the readers went hog wild! They totally agree that pee is the worst smell on the CTA.

But the readers went further: They are asking for—nay!—demanding that the CTA install some damn bathrooms. While we second that emotion, we really wish that they would ask-for-nay-demand that the CTA actually move. Call us purists, but that’s what we want.

We do agree that the faint scent of piss mixing with coffee stench in the morning really isn’t the best way to start the day; we have a slightly different opinion. We think by FAR the worst smell on the e’er stinky CTA is a strong whiff of generic cleaning supplies. When we get on a train car that smells like it was just scrubbed down (rather than hosed, as we picture they do at the end of the line while singing “Chain Gang”) we automatically think, “What the hell kind of explosive diarrhea did someone just have on here?” It is not a comfort that it smells so stringently of Windex and soap—it’s horrifying.

CTA’s spokeswoman said that there are no plans for public loos in the station ever. And besides, if you’ve ever had to ride in one of the elevators you know that there are at least some people who aren’t at all deterred by the lack of bathrooms.