The Occifers Coming to Get You in Naperfille

By Roland Lara on May 11, 2006 2:08PM

Naperville leads the state in nailing drunk drivers!

Woo hoo! Number 1! Number 1!

CBS reports that this is the second consecutive year for Naperville yoinking the top honor, and it is also the fourth time in five years that Naperville’s finest leads Illinois in this area.

The information comes from the Alliance Against Intoxicated Motorists, which is an Illinois organization whose purpose “is to prevent deaths and injuries caused by intoxicated motorists in Illinois and to help victims and their families.”

Waukegan also showed in the top five, and four other DuPagers clawed their way into the top 20: Villa Park, Downers Grove, Carol Stream, and Lombard (represent!).

Chicagoist grew up in the ‘burbs (guess which one) and knows Naperthrills well. And believe us when we tell you this: there wasn’t a God-damned thing to do when we grew up out there. In the last few years, though, downtown Naperthrills has had an explosion of surprisingly good restaurants and, we’ve heard, even a bar or two. But you still have to drive everywhere, and it takes a week to ten days to get from home to, say, the Riverwalk, then to the Lantern for a beer, maybe get a plate of tapas and some sangria at the Argentinean place, Tango, and then home in time to catch Cold Case.

Naperville police reportedly arrested “717 people suspected of driving under the influence of alcohol or narcotics.” That seems like a lot of arrests based on hunches, but Chicagoist’s position is firmly in the don’t-drink-and-drive camp (we know, we’re really staking out controversial ground here), so we’d ask you all to follow the example of one Troy McClure. You may remember him from such public service videos as “Designated Drivers, the Life-Saving Nerds.”