The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

This Week in Stupid

By Joanna Miller in News on May 12, 2006 8:45PM

Chicagoist is always trying to learn new things, and we know you are too. This week, we learn about the appropriate places to do our nails, the real value of pants, and why the state of Indiana should be more careful when issuing drivers licenses.

  • Teenagers in Indiana have officially run out of things to do. A 17-year-old is in the hospital after he asked his friends to run him over with a car – wait for it – for fun. He’s in the hospital where doctors are trying to save his leg, and his friend may be facing up to three years in jail and $10,000 in fines for hitting him with the car.
  • nailsdid.jpg

  • A passenger on a United Airlines flight from Chicago to San Diego mistook her seat for a spa chair and decided to give herself a little manicure. Crew members became suspicious when they smelled something strange and the pilot realized the plane was carrying 25 liters of a hazardous material – acetone. He diverted the plane to Denver for an emergency landing after which a haz-mat team searched the plane before the woman came forward.
  • If there’s one thing we’ve learned from Mother, it’s that nothing good happens after 2 a.m., and sometimes, even after 1 a.m. Especially when you’re driving drunk in Indiana, have two prosthetic legs, and decide to start a brawl with your deaf friend in the passenger seat because you can’t understand his directions. Nothing good is going to come of that.
  • Finally, when you’re robbing someone’s home, you have to take what you can get. Two armed robbers broke into a home in downstate Belleville and demanded specific items from the man inside. He didn’t have any of the things they wanted, so they just took his pants. As in the ones he was wearing.