Chicago Border Patrol Plans to Scare Intruders Away

By Joanna Miller in Miscellaneous on May 25, 2006 5:04PM

City to local dogs: Time to shut up, unless of course you’re scaring away seagulls – then bark away.

An ordinance proposed Wednesday would crack down on dog owners with a 10-minute time limit on barking outdoors. Let your dog bark for more than 10 minutes, and you’ll be slapped with a fine of $50 to $250. And if you leave your dog tied up outside for hours with no food or water, prompting it to bark incessantly, you pretty much deserve it.

But the city is also making good use of a few dogs and their vocal chords. The Chicago Park District plans to use barking border collies at city beaches to scare away the gulls (and their poop), thus keeping the water cleaner and reducing the number of swim bans. Um, OK. Not the most direct approach, but points for creativity.

In another round-about plan, the second part of the new noise ordinance would impound ice cream trucks that play music after 7 p.m. At least one alderman suspects the trucks are selling drugs instead of ice cream. So, just so we’re clear, you think ice cream trucks may be dealing drugs and the best solution you can come up with is to ban their music after 7 p.m.? Seriously? And you’re asking for a $20,000 raise?

What's next? Fighting the dreaded condo boom with a ban on striped shirts and Blackberries in at-risk neighborhoods?

Bryn, Penrhyn Coch Woods, 25-03-06 via DG Jones