Winners of the Intonation Fest Giveaway

By Scott Smith in Arts & Entertainment on May 26, 2006 2:09PM

When we ran our first Intonation Fest giveaway a few weeks ago, we received more entries for it than any other giveaway we’ve ever run on this site. So when the organizers tossed another set of tickets at us, we decided to up the stakes a little and make you get a little literary. We asked you to send in a brief essay that detailed why you should receive the passes and no one else.

As expected, many of you pleaded poverty. One of you threatened to release pictures of one Chicagoist writer in drag. Another begged us to save him from yet another weekend of living with a bunch of dirty female roommates (which sounded pretty good to us). Yet another believed a religious experience would occur as he listened to Bloc Party’s “Be Easy.”

After culling through all the entries, we arrived at a final five to be voted on by the Chicagoist editorial staff and David Singer of Intonation Fest. In the end, two winners were chosen instead of one. Congratulations to Joe Donahue and the poster known as “some asshole” for two compelling entries. You can read their submissions after the jump and see that while high-minded, literary composition will certainly carry the day, a good crapping-your-pants story ain’t bad either.

Joe Donahue writes:
I must return this year. I had an issue last year and missed most of Sat. We had been out Friday night drinking cheap beer (yeah!) and in the morning we went to get some Mexican food. We were at Union Park around 1pm drinking more beer and after I had some pizza everything went wrong. The Mexican food, pizza and cheap-o beer caused sudden severe diarrhea. The bathroom lines were too long, and as I ran for the exit, shit started flying. Everyone could see it. I just kept running and never looked back. I couldn't return on Sunday.

Thanks and sorry,
Joe
**************************
“some asshole” writes:
"A Series of Haphazard Couplets About Chicagoist"
I think that I shall never see,
And thing so love-er-ly as thee.
Chicagoist, I shall not prate.
the target of my love and hate,

You fill up countless dreary hours
With yuppies, hipsters, and smoking in bars
And joints to which we all have been
So our debate can cause a din

But still I keep on coming back
And jumping in there to attack
But I only do it cuz I love
And more, the role fits like a glove.

But on the subject of the tix
I won't use any bullshit tricks.
I earned this, as previously implied,
By being a fucking awesome guy

I also love to hip and hop and flex
To british dudes with god complex (s)!
And whilst streets once were self-effacing
I can't wait to hear Skinner's ego racing.

I've bumped wu-tang since age 15
While smoking dope on senior lunch leaves!
Thus ghostface makes me rather glad
Like f'n shaft, that dude is bad.

And the most unfairly forgotten band
Ole' High on Fire shall rule the land
They've grown much better since they were sleep
To see them now would be so neat.

They worship satan (at least I assume)…
At least there's one real rock band in the room.
Cuz sorry folks, Bloc Party don't cut it.
That single band can kind of suck it.

But all in all the bill is phat
And now I'm saying "please," so that is that.
The tickets, please I beg you so
I'm a law student without much dough.
Though in the words you've learned so well
Give them to me because I'm swell.