If You Say You'll Drill Holes In The Hard Drive, Drill Some Holes!

By Alicia Dorr in News on Jun 2, 2006 8:42PM

We’re sort of paranoid about identity theft. Seriously, we can’t think of that many movies that are scarier in concept than that one Sandra Bullock movie The Net, and our friends can’t think of enough ways to make fun of us for that. Well, cynics, hear the story of the Gerbus’ (‘s? sss? Jebus lives in outer space?).

About a year ago this Cincinnati couple took their computer to their neighborhood Best Buy to have its hard drive replaced. As is its custom, the store promised to drill holes in the old drive so all the personal information, documents and records of late-night porn-viewing would be locked in the sands of time. The couple rested assured for many, many nights.

Then some random calls them up, a year later, and throws the universe out of its damn alignment. What the hell would you do if some guy in Chicago named Ed called you up, kindly enough, to let you know he has all your personal information on a computer he just bought at a flea market for $25? Would you say, “Is that the going rate for an identity nowadays”?… “Please don’t hurt me and my family”? … “Where’s this flea market – that sounds like a good deal”?

Gerbus asked for his computer back, in his hands, and Ed, who seems like he’s a pretty stand-up guy at this point, obliged. As happy as this ending sounds for the moment, it’s time that we all took a moment to say, “What the hell, Best Buy, you saucy effing biscuit?” We don’t know about you, but we think this is a totally creepy story. While we’ve never traded in hard drives, our paranoid hearts and OCD minds go out to the Gerbus’ during this ordeal. Best Buy issued a statement saying they are “investigating” this. Now if only we could figure out a way to investigate a company out of business.