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This Week in Stupid

By Joanna Miller in News on Jun 2, 2006 8:39PM

Congratulations people of Chicago, and, for that matter, people of Illinois – Despite our best efforts, we were unable to find one story of your misdeeds worthy of a This Week in Stupid mention. We assume you’re like us and found it hard to concentrate, this being a short week and all. In fact, we had to go as far as New York to find the stupid. While you bask in the glory of unstupidness, here are a few tidbits to inspire you. Because while we applaud your newfound saneness, we need you to crazy it up a bit. You know, for next week.

  • In a story as sad as it is stupid, a Knox, Ind., woman was sentenced to 15.5 years in prison for her role in the deaths of two children. Her role being that she put the six-year-old girl and two-year-old boy her daughter was “babysitting” in a sled, attached it to an all-terrain vehicle and drove it into oncoming traffic. She was also caught trying to pass her sister’s urine off as her own for a drug test following the accident.
  • Chicagoist has had our share of bad haircuts, and we’ve left more than one salon trying to suppress our rage. Which is precisely why we’d never want a loved one cutting our hair. One Milwaukee family might want to follow that advice. A 20-year-old woman was arrested Tuesday for stabbing her husband after he gave a male relative a bad haircut. The victim is expected to survive. No word on the condition of his hair.
  • Police in Goshen, Ind., pulled over an ice cream truck after seeing it swerve into the wrong lane and found a nearly empty pint of vodka between the front seats. The 51-year-old driver had a blood-alcohol level of 0.24, three times the state’s legal limit. He won’t be selling any more Bomb Pops for a while.
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  • Finally, the mania that is “American Idol,” and more specifically, Taylor “Soul Patrol” Hicks, has finally led to violence. Frankly, we can’t believe it took this long. Cory Favreau, a 24-year-old man from Plattsburgh, N.Y., was watching last week’s finale with his mother when things got a little out of hand. Favreau’s mother, a Katherine McPhee fan, remarked that the first runner up would have a successful career despite her loss to Hicks. Favreau then stood up, made a few “malicious” comments to his mother and “struck her in the head with a sharpened, cross-shaped object attached to a bicycle chain.” Her injuries were treated at a local hospital, he is being held on $5000 bail, and they are not allowed to drink when they watch “Idol” ever again.