No Internet, No Computer Games Makes Employees Go Something Something

By Alicia Dorr in News on Jun 8, 2006 8:01PM

It appears that one porn-viewin’ jerk ruined the Internet for the whole bunch this week; Dupage County announced that county employees will no longer be able to idly surf the Internet.

Some whistle blower (or party pooper, however you want to look at it) from Public Works alleged that another employee was using county time to feed his or her insatiable need to view naked people on the Internet. While this was just an accusation, the county government decided the Internet surfing was a big enough problem in itself.

Now it will be using a filter on web access, so anything not related to county work (sort of everything, except, you know, forests or whatever) is dunzo. Same goes for computer games, though that doesn’t really seem fair since they aren’t pornographic.

While we agree that the Internet and computer games are pretty much just diversion tactics to keep from being functional employees, we’re still pretty bummed for the sorry lot of them. Seriously – we doubt there will be a spike in productivity over a long period of time. Back before the Internet people still found ways to not do work. Look at Office Space. While a humorous parody of life in the office structure, it’s true: All these employees will do is go back to filing their nailes and zoning out into space for hours on end. You know, hiding cigarettes with personal fans in their bottom drawers. There may even be a spike in the reading of Kathy cartoons, and that can’t be good. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

Oh, except for one thing: DuPage county employees reading the Chicagoist must find a way to continue to do so. It’s a matter of utmost importance.