This Week in Stupid

By Joanna Miller in News on Jun 9, 2006 8:15PM

We’ll admit, you had us a little worried last week, people. But you met our challenge head on and brought your stupid A game this week. We knew you had it in you.

• A Chicago Police officer is facing felony charges of forgery, counterfeiting and attempted theft after he was caught with $500 in counterfeit bills at an Indiana currency exchange in May. He attempted to exchange the fake $100 bills for a money order after visiting a gambling boat in East Chicago, Ind. Our favorite part of this story? He’s been stripped of his police powers and assigned to the city’s 311 call center pending a criminal investigation. He’d be happy to take your calls about the dead bird on your street, the pothole you drove over and blew out a tire and the neighborhood restaurant that you’re pretty sure has rats.
• A man is suing Oak Forest police, claiming they acted negligently after his arrest. He swallowed a bag of cocaine that would have been used as evidence against him and suffered brain damage as a result. The man claims police should have stopped him or gotten him to a doctor more quickly.
• A 17-year-old male in Pekin, Ill., told police he was just trying to get home and get to bed, which was why he stole and crashed a squad car after being arrested for leaving the scene of an accident. According to police, he was belted in the back seat of a squad car after being arrested for the first accident but managed to wriggle free, crawl through a small sliding door into the front seat and drive away in handcuffs. He then crashed into two fences, a gate and a row of trees. He’s currently in jail on $25,000 bond.