Staying Away In Droves

By Scott Smith in Arts & Entertainment on Jun 16, 2006 3:29PM

Chicagoist is feeling kind of irritable and grumpy this morning. And we’re blaming it on this weekend’s slate of films in wide release: the Garfield sequel, the Fast and the Furious sequel, Nacho Libre and The Lake House.

Seriously, we’re feeling dumber just looking at that list.

We know we’re supposed to be excited about Nacho Libre. Jack Black + director of Napoleon Dynamite x Mexican wrestling outfits = Comedy Gold, right? And yet…meh. One of our esteemed staffers caught it in an advance screening and said “As I feared, the whole movie is based on the assumption that Jack Black shirtless in tights is hilarious for days. It's not.”

And we’re probably supposed to be interested in The Lake House, since it filmed here last year. We were willing to suspend disbelief about the plot (even though it makes staying home and renting Somewhere In Time seem like a much better idea) until we read that the two lovers share a dog even though they live two years apart. Oh come on! Ebert’s review seems to indicate that the entire film requires you to suspend every possible disbelief you could ever conceive of along with most of the laws of physics and the idea that people would actually pay nine dollars to see this film. So if we want to see local color on the big screen, we’ll just go see The Break-Up again.

Allow us then to give another plug to the 18th Onion City Experimental Film and Video Festival, which continues throughout the weekend at Chicago Filmmakers. If you’d prefer something a little more classic, check out The Three Ages at the newly remodeled Portage Theatre or a matinee of Billy Wilder’s Witness for the Prosecution at the Music Box.

And hang in there. Only 12 days left until Superman Returns hits theaters.