Gotta Let the Strippers Strip

By Joanna Miller in News on Jun 22, 2006 5:55PM

What is it about strippers that make men crazy? And we don’t mean crazy as in, “wow, I can’t believe what she can do with a pole, she’s making me crazy.” No, that we get. We mean crazy as in “You obviously need a hero to save you from this wretched life, and I am just the guy.” That kind of crazy.

Is it the whole “Pretty Woman” thing? And yes, we know, she was a hooker, not a stripper. But really, doesn’t one thing usually lead to the other? Sometimes? And don’t you people watch “Rescue Me?” If you don’t, you should, because it’s disturbing and awesome at the same time. And you’d know that bad things happen when you try to save a pretty hooker (or stripper), especially when, deep down, you know she’s way too hot for you.

Unfortunately William Hubble hadn’t learned that lesson when he met a young, aspiring stripper in DeWitt County last month. It was her first night stripping, and he wanted to talk her out of it. They talked for three hours, but she refused, and told him she would continue to strip.

The next day, Hubble started drinking and decided to burn the nightclub down, apparently to keep his new friend from taking her clothes off. Unfortunately, with a blood alcohol level at more than three times the legal limit, Hubble wasn’t able to escape the club once the fire got started, and died of smoke inhalation.

Obviously, Hubbles death is sad. But if there’s a lesson to be learned, it’s that you shouldn’t try to save people who don’t want or need saving. It never ends well.

Neon poledancer via duncan