This Week in Stupid

By Joanna Miller in Miscellaneous on Jun 23, 2006 3:50PM

Chicagoist is an animal lover, which is why it makes us sad when bad things happen to animals. We don’t like to see any animal harmed, even the fake plastic ones. And we also don’t like it when stupid people act like animals. It gives the animals a bad name, and they don’t deserve it.

• You thought three strikes was bad? How about 10? A Lake County man is facing up to 30 years in prison now that he’s pleaded guilty to his 10th DUI offense since 1976. Floyd Thompson, 49, has been convicted eight times, and his rap sheet includes arrests for operating a bicycle while intoxicated. Amazingly, he’s never injured anyone while driving drunk.
• A Frankfort couple woke up to find several of their precious lawn ornaments missing and a flamingo with a severed head, earlier this week. In their place was a ransom note with profane and anti-Semitic remarks that demanded $25,000 and a bottle of Boone’s Farm wine for their return. "To whom it may concern, if you ever want to see your precious flamingo again please clean the (expletive) out of your yard,” the note read, according to Will County Sheriff’s Police. (For the record, we probably would have included the expletive, if we knew what it was. We’re guessing “shit,” but we can’t be sure.)
• A St. Louis woman is facing trespassing and third-degree assault charges for beating a dog breeder over the head with a dead Chihuahua. Lisa Lynn Hopfer, 33, told police she’d taken the four-week-old puppy to a veterinarian who told her it needed to be returned to its mother, and it died before she could return it. She then went to breeder Linda Hulsey’s home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with her as she tried to get to the basement to get another puppy. Hulsey said she wrestled Hopfer onto the front porch where Hopfer hit her over the head at least 30 times with the dead puppy. Hulsey suffered no serious injuries and returned the $100 Hopfer had paid for the dog.

pink flamingos via Yer Sister