We Would Like Her Better if it Was Spelled "Whoopie"

By Alicia Dorr in News on Jul 20, 2006 11:15AM

Ah, geez. Here we were thinking that every time we saw “Sister Act” playing on a rainy Saturday all we had to do was change the channel. After all, we made it out of the 90s alive—we shouldn’t be punished with any more Whoopi Goldberg.

But like she did with Hollywood Squares (or, really, like Hollywood Squares keeps doing) she weaseled her way back into the public eye. Whether or not you care, she isn’t the kind of celebrity that you can just turn off. She’s always lurking around some pop culture corner, like Carrot Top or a picture of the Olsen twins when they were babies. This time it’s a morning talk show on the radio, called “Wake Up with Whoopi”, we presume because once someone said that name, no one could imagine anything else. We just heard that Chicago's light station will be the first affiliate to carry the broadcast. It will be featured on WLIT beginning August 14 from 5 a.m. to 9 a.m., the exact time you want to hear Whoopi Goldberg croaking out of your stereo.

It’s not her fault that we don’t like her, we guess, we know she's done some good stuff. She's probably even a nice person. The problem is we won’t be able to turn it off. That’s right, and you probably wouldn’t be able to, either. We would all sit there listening, grimacing, as if we had lost the remote control and “The Nanny” came on. We don't know how you feel about it, but we're just hoping we'll remember not to stop inquisitively when we hear a new sound coming from the speakers in the morning. The day will never recover.