This Week in Stupid

By Joanna Miller in News on Aug 11, 2006 5:25PM

Chicagoist likes to think we’ve seen it all, but, sometimes, we’re still a little shocked, or at least puzzled, by our fellow humans. Which, we suppose, isn’t a bad thing. Good to keep things interesting.

• A former Yorkville, Ill., school board member is in prison after being convicted of stealing more than $113,000 from her parents. Janet Reaves, 71, was sentenced to six months in jail and four years of probation, and was ordered to pay restitution to her father. Reaves stole the money from a trust created by her parents to support their health and living expenses. As she was led out of the courtrooms, Reaves “twice turned her head and glared at her 100-year-old father.”
• Ten to 15 masked people left six trash bags full of taco sauce packets at a Marion, Ind., Taco Bell earlier this week. A note said the group had been collecting the packets for three years. A Taco Bell spokesperson said the restaurant will not reuse the Border Sauce for safety reasons. Marion Police Chief Cliff Sessoms said the investigation has been closed because there seems to have been no crime committed. He did say that the police don’t like it when masked people walk into a business. No word on whether the sauce was Mild, Hot or Fire.
• A Des Moines woman has accused her now-ex-boyfriend of tattooing her in her sleep last Saturday night. Hilary Snyder, 20, says she awoke to find a five-pointed star tattooed on her right ankle. Her unidentified then-boyfriend has a similar tattoo and had been pressuring her to get a matching one. Snyder said she took a painkiller and sleeping pill before going to sleep and was grateful that “at least he didn’t flub it up.” No arrests have been made, but the investigation remains open.
• Dustin “Screech Powers” Diamond says a woman threatened him with Mace and stole his video games from his Omaha hotel room early Monday morning. Diamond says he first saw the woman at the Funny Bone Comedy Club where he was performing and that she hovered around him as he waited to be paid. She later showed up at his hotel room, armed with Mace, as he was leaving to catch an early flight, Diamond said. “I’m freaked out and jump back, and she says, ‘Where’s the money, come on, tell me where it is,’ and she’s trying to look through my bags.” The woman settled on some PSP games. “I’m a big gamer, and you don’t mess with the D-man’s video games,” Diamond said, explaining that he scuffled with the woman until she yelled, “Rape!” No charges have been filed.

Good for you via graciepoo