Maggots on a Toe

By Matt Wood in Miscellaneous on Aug 21, 2006 3:31PM

Sorry for the title, but we had to get it out of our system. We predict that saying "(some kind of creepy-crawly animal) on a (some kind of uncomfortable place)" will be the new Bud Light "Wasabi/Wazzup" from a few years ago. Before the summer is over, the next time you hear some jackass say, "_blank_ on a _blank_" while giggling to himself, you'll want to slap the taste out of his mouth, so we took our first and last chance to be that jackass and get it out of the way.

Chicagoist does love our gross-out stories though, whatever stupid names we decide to give them. Remember "Flesh Eating Bacteria on a Leg," or "Rats on a City Hall Desk"? How about "Bugs on a Bed"? Well none of them can top this. The family of a 97-year-old woman in Oak Lawn has sued ManorCare Health Services because they allowed maggots to hatch and grow on her body. Nursing-home staff found the maggots while dressing a wound where she had a toe amputated. Apparently this was the first time in a while they had acquainted themselves with her dressings, because fly larvae hang out on wet breeding areas (aka, old lady flesh) for four to 10 days before they hatch. This isn't the first time this particular nursing home company has let maggots feast on its patients either. Two other of its facilities have been cited as well.

So add that to the list of qualifications you need to check before you decide to send grandma or grandpa off to the home: "Will you or will you not allow Nana to become the bottom of the food chain?"