Rabid Bats? Say It Isn't So!
By Chris Karr in News on Aug 24, 2006 1:14PM
August is traditionally a very slow news month, so the local CBS station has taken to reporting vermin news from around the state of Illinois. A few days ago, the big story was rabid bats! In three counties (including Cook), the state health officials have confirmed the presence of infected flying mice. In Will County, one 87-year-old man was bitten by one of these feisty creatures and became infected. (We don't know if he got all foamy or not.) This guy (who apparently failed to learn the lesson "don't pick up sick animals" back during the Depression) is now undergoing a month-long series of anti-rabies shots. (No, we don't know if these are ass-shots or just arm-shots.)
So, even with it being the slow news month (and us trying to meet our quota of local news stories so you don't get bored with us and leave), you can go back to your beach parties and exciting summer activities without wondering, "What summer public health crisis am I missing now?" We've got your back.
And should you see one of these flying agents of terror in our fair city, play it safe, and make like Young Bruce Wayne. Hide and cower in fear until the rabid threat is no more.
Image credit: plasticrevolver