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Psst - We Heard the New Kid Is a Bully, and Dumb

By Joanna Miller in News on Aug 31, 2006 8:37PM

2006_08_31macys.jpgRemember that new kid in school who seemed hell-bent on not fitting in? You know, the one who didn’t seem to care about making friends and wanted everyone to know what a badass s/he was, right off the bat. Yeah, looks like Macy’s is that kind of new kid.

Macy’s is new in town, but they’re already looking for a fight. (We heard their older brother beat up a guy real good back East.) Just ask the people over at 11 City Diner. The restaurant has been serving an open-faced turkey sandwich called the “Marshall Field’s Special,” but Macy’s found out and they’re, like, totally pissed about it.

They don’t want anyone to find out what a wimp they were at their old school, so don’t even think about mentioning their old name.

And, don’t tell them we said so, but we think Macy’s might be one of the dumb kids. They don’t even know what street they live on. They put up signs for Wabash Street, Washington Avenue and Randolph Avenue, but everybody knows it’s Wabash Avenue, Washington Street and Randolph Street. Duh. There’s no way we’re letting them sit with us at lunch.

Macy’s via msspider66