Little Old Lady Takes Matters Into Her Own Hands

By Alicia Dorr in News on Sep 7, 2006 6:33PM

In what could be considered a depressing indicator of our society's decline, a 79-year-old woman was taken into custody for attempting to rob a bank yesterday.

She hobbled into a downtown Bank of America branch Tuesday and explained to the teller she had to speak softly because she had just returned from a dentist appointment. Under this pretense, the lady quietly demanded $30,000. Perhaps she was just looking for some money to pay the bill for the dentist - you know, because she doesn't have health care at 79 - and overshot a little. Or maybe she was just bored. Either way, it doesn't seem she could afford a gun, either, because the piece she brandished to the teller turned out later to be a toy gun.

Needless to say, she didn't get away with it. The South-Sider was caught in a nearby store a few minutes after leaving the bank without the money. The teller had triggered the silent alarm. She was probably not hard for the police to miss, considering she was wearing a visor that read, "Princess", a black trenchcoat, and sunglasses. She's out on bail now staying with her daughter, facing up to 20 years in prison if she is convicted.

The weird thing is, she's not the first. Apparently, a 75-year-old woman in Pennsylvania tried to rob a bank in March of this year. She claimed to be doing it for more Robin Hood-esque reasons, but still - what's with all the vigilante old women in their 70s?