I Swear Ma, It's Just a Regular, Ordinary Pump

By Joanna Miller in News on Sep 14, 2006 9:10PM

Well, you still can’t take your chapstick on a plane, but the government is showing a little mercy to the guy who told authorities he had a bomb so his mom wouldn’t find out he was carrying a penis pump. Mardin Amin, his mother and his two children were on their way to Iraq when the incident occured.

Amin says a security guard misunderstood him when he tried to whisper an explanation for the small, black rubber object found in his luggage. So, it only sounded like he said “bomb.”

Amin, despite being under arrest for a felony and having his name in news stories around the country, told his mother that the pump was not actually for, well, you know. He told her it was just a regular old pump – the kind you use to inflate soccer balls. Which makes so much more sense.

On Wednesday, Cook County prosecutors agreed to drop the charges against Amin, which is good news for him because he could have faced up to three years in jail if convicted.

Hopefully when Amin, who lives in Skokie, does take that trip to Iraq, he’ll spread the good word about freedom to all he meets. Hopefully he’ll tell them that here in America, we have an inalienable right to carry penis pumps and lie to our mothers about it whenever we choose. If we can’t do that, the terrorists have most definitely won.

Nevertheless, Amin says he will now travel without the pump.

Pump My Heart via Randy Knott