Partying With Orton Denied by NFL

By Benjy Lipsman in News on Sep 20, 2006 2:56PM

Chicagoist spends our fair share of time visiting Chicago's various drinking establishments, yet we feel there is still a thing or two we could learn about partying hard from Bears QB Kyle Orton. Apparently we're not the only ones.

An unidentified student at the University of Illinois would like to learn from from Orton, too. He wrote the NFL and requested that Kyle Orton accompany him to school, as part of their Take a Player to School program.

The NFL rejected his request, stating:

Dear Mr. X,

Thank you for your interest and participation in the NFL's "Take a player to School" sweepstakes. We regret to inform you that you and your request have been deemed ineligible. The contest is reserved for children 6-13 who have an interest in bringing their favorite NFL player to their school. Your request to have Kyle Orton of the Chicago Bears come to the University of Illinois to, in your words: "Drink a ton of beer and get completely obliterated" has been denied. Due to the nature of your request we have ruled that you are older than the stated age limit and that your specific request is against all the moral values for which the NFL stands. Thank you for your interest and we hope you continue to support the NFL and your community.

Sincerely,
NFL Properties LLC and Marden-Kane Inc.

He actually asked the NFL if it would send Kyle Orton to come "Drink a ton of beer and get completely obliterated" with him? See that was his mistake! Were we to try this, we'd say that "we think Orton would like our friends Johnnie, Jim, Jack and Jose."

Update: Since we posted about this, Deadspin has updated their story to reveal that this story was an internet hoax. Can you believe somebody published something that's not true on the internet? Personally, we're appalled here in the Chicagoist offices. Becuase if you can't believe what you read on the internet, what can you believe?

Image via wlup.com