America's Next Top Total Effing Freak

By Margaret Hicks in Arts & Entertainment on Sep 28, 2006 4:51PM

The only thing wrong with Tyra Banks, besides her huge forehead (or her "five-head, funny Tyra), her terrible acting and her awful sense of humor, is that her karma is now seriously fucked up.

Last night, instead of doing what she should have done, Tyra kicked off the inspirational Megan, instead of kicking off the biggest freak in reality television history (if you don't count Johnny Fairplay), Chicago's very own Monique.

Let's do a side by side, shall we?

Megan managed to survive a Bambi-like airplane crash where her mother died of hypothermia keeping her warm.

Monique wept during her makeover because no one had ever seen her without her weave.

Megan helped one of her cast mates out by giving advice on her runway walk.

Monique sat on the phone for three hours while her castmates begged her to let them use it. An hour of that time was spent on the phone with no one. She did it purely to piss off the rest of the house.

Megan's mom gave her own life for the life of her daughter.

When Monique refused to let her castmates use the phone for three hours, her mom told her, "You tell them you are the princess of the throne". If her mom meant the porcelain throne, then maybe she was right.

We were sorry to see Megan go, she was pretty and cool looking and brave. Don't even pretend to tell us that Tyra and the Jays don't know what was happening at the house. The retention of Monique is purely for "good TV" and we all know it. Heck, her crazy wig picture didn't fool anyone; she's just as ugly on the outside as she is on the inside. We hate to see Chicago peeps not be Next Top Models, but this one? She's gotta go.