Renegade Carrots Not Cooperating; Thought to Be Orange and Dangerous

By Rachelle Bowden in Food on Oct 1, 2006 11:39PM

Chicagoist has a lot of respect for vegetarians. We've tried it; we couldn't do it. Horrible headaches and gastrointestinal distress were our rewards, for the most part. Mad props to those who stick with natural veggie goodness over processed cow and pig parts. Vegans, on the other hand, can go to hell. Just kidding. Some of our friends are vegans ... well, our friends' wives, anyway.

However, veggies/vegan types were struck another blow to the salad plexus Saturday when the state public health director Dr. Eric E. Whitaker sent out a warning about botulism-laced carrot juice. The FDA states there have been four cases nationwide so far involving Bolthouse Farms Carrot Juice, based in California. (Phone calls to Bolthouse asking if they're neighbors to those E. coli-enriched spinach farms went undialed.) Whitaker warns against drinking any "juice from Bolthouse Farms in 450 ml or 1-liter bottles with expiration dates of November 11 or before." Gin status has not been verified. No outbreaks have occurred in Illinois so far, but better safe than sorry, especially since symptoms of botulism include double vision, drooping eyelids, speech and swallowing difficulties, and muscle paralysis from the neck down, often resulting in death. Ultimate cause behind the toxic juice has not yet been determined, though one case may be due to juice not being properly refrigerated after purchase.

Who would have thought that vegetables could be so deadly? First contaminated spinach, now lumpy carrot juice containers. And on World Vegetarian Day, no less! What's an omnivore to do? McDonald's is looking more and more like a safe haven against nature's cruel revenge. We can imagine ourselves running to the driveway window shouting, "Sanctuary! Sanctuary!" and then making a little fortress out of Quarter Pounders. And as for our veggie friends ... well, you can always inject some juice into your face.

Thanks, Shannon!