Ha-ha! Marriage Makes You Abnormal

By Matt Wood in News on Oct 16, 2006 11:52AM

The married members of Chicagoist's offices already feel like outcasts among the rest of the swinging singles here, and that's not just because of the burlap sack with a scarlet M on the chest that we have to wear at our desks. Before we would just slip away into the bathroom and cry when things got too bad, rubbing our wedding bands and saying, "There's no place like our statistically average American home, there's no place like our statistically average American home." But now even that watchword has forsaken us, as we find news that married couples have officially dropped to minority status in the U.S.

A survey released by the Census Bureau showed that married couples no longer make up a majority of U.S. households, down to 49.7 percent from 52 percent five years ago. Analysts cite a declining social emphasis placed on marriage, as more people choose to live single or unmarried with partners. And we haven't seen an official press release yet, but we'll go ahead and say that Pat Robertson blames the decline on homosexuals and predicts the fall of Western civilization.