This Week in Stupid

By Joanna Miller in News on Oct 27, 2006 7:18PM

Sex, and sex-related desires and activities, seems to be one of the most common ways people can get themselves into trouble. Some people just lose their heads when it comes to getting their freak on. So please, try to be smart about sex, and about spoiled milk.

• A former teacher’s aide from South Bend, Ind., has been sentenced to more than nine years in prison after being convicted of sexual misconduct with a minor, vicarious sexual gratification and battery. Prosecutors said Schmeca White, 28, stripped naked in front of 11- to 15-year-old students in a classroom and touched herself in a seductive manner back in 2004 while the teacher was at lunch. Once released, White will have to register as a sex offender and serve four years on probation. "I still say that I'm innocent, regardless of what victims said I did," White said. "I did nothing to those children and I still say that."
• Ronald A. Dotson is in jail, again. He was caught stealing a female mannequin, again. The 39-year-old Detroit man had been out of jail for less than a week when his mannequin fetish took over, and he broke the window of a cleaning-supply company to take one wearing a black and white French maid’s uniform. He has racked up six convictions in the last 13 years for similar incidents. "He told his parole officer he was going to buy a mannequin so he didn't have to do these break-ins anymore," Detective Brendan Moore said. "Apparently that didn't work out." A judge has ordered Dotson to undergo a psychiatric exam to determine if he is competent to stand trial, again.
• When a mysterious bottle containing a foul-smelling liquid was found in a men’s bathroom at a Michigan high school two weeks ago, the school was promptly evacuated, and the bomb squad was called in. Lab results now show the bottle contained spoiled milk, although officials initially believed it contained a mix of household chemicals. The milk was reported to be of the chocolate variety and had gone bad sitting in a student’s locker. The bottle had also expanded, making it more suspicious, Superintendent Jeff Pratt said. "Two police officers and three members of the bomb squad refused to go near it or touch it, and that was good enough for me," he said.

Dark-haired mannequin via Christopher Althouse Cohen