This Week in Stupid

By Joanna Miller in News on Nov 3, 2006 9:23PM

There are some things in life you just need to know. Basic truths, if you will. For instance, tollbooths, gas stations and nuclear power plants are all very different things and serve very different purposes. Also, firework stores are flammable, don’t run from the cops smelling like tasty food, and the brake is on the left. Just some things to keep in mind.

• An Oak Park man faces charges after confusing the Braidwood nuclear power plant with a gas station. On Saturday, Stanislaw Drobrzawski, 51, drove past a “no trespassing” sign and a 10-foot-wide “Braidwood Generating Station” sign, finally stopping at a security checkpoint. He was reportedly heavily intoxicated. "He thought it was a gas station – I guess he wanted to pay for gas," said Will County sheriff's spokesman Pat Barry. This was the second such incident in two weeks. On Oct. 18, Lloyd Kuykendall, 38, of Morris, drove up to the same security checkpoint and tried to pay a guard, who he believed to be a tollbooth attendant. Both men have been charged with driving under the influence. Drobrzawski was also charged with entering a controlled-access area.
• Is it just us, or do all fireworks stores eventually go up in flames? One in northern Wisconsin met its demise last Friday when a 20-year-old man, attempting to rob the store, fired his shotgun in the store, igniting fireworks and a fire that destroyed the building. The man, wearing a ski mask, fired only one shot before the building went up in flames. No one was injured, and the suspect is being held in the Vilas County Jail.
• Two men who robbed a pizza delivery woman in Columbus, Ind., on Sunday were arrested after a cop followed the smell of sausage and pepperoni to their home. Bartholomew County Sheriff’s Deputy Jimmy Green was searching the area for witnesses and followed a hunch to one particular residence where he smelled the aroma of pizza. Inside the house, Green found a phone book opened to the pizza section, as well as the pizza and cash taken in the robbery and a knife used by one of the suspects.
• After completing her driving test in Portage, Ind., 20-year-old Jessica Krasek drove her car through the front window of the Portage License Bureau. Kasek wasn’t hurt, but a bureau worker suffered a hip injury. Police said Krasek hit the accelerator instead of the brake.

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