K-Fed: Here for the Ladies and Your Inevitable Mockery

By Scott Smith in Arts & Entertainment on Nov 9, 2006 4:18PM

If the pop culture landscape that is peopled by D-List celebrities can be seen as a mangy dog, then K-Fed’s scheduled appearance at House of Blues last night in the service of hawking his blink-and-you’ll-miss-it album was a Lyme disease-carrying tick on the back of said dog. Easily ignored, but requiring a visit to a board-certified physician if you get too close.

But that was last week. This week, his erstwhile retirement plan filed for divorce and in the course of a day, K-Fed went from an act barely able to draw 100 people to a somehow newsworthy event for that 64 percent of the voting age population that was desperate for something to fill in the column inches between all the talk about “the election or whatever.”

Chicagoist kept its distance last night, but we are chuckling over the coverage this morning. The Sun-Times dispatched Jim DeRogatis (who we're pretty sure has a secret man-crush on Britney's other ex-) along with a staff reporter to deliver a report that is telling in its brevity. Quick question: how often do “pimps” get custody of the kids?

Of course, this was much more than a local story, so the national media was there as well. People Magazine turned in this piece, and describing the House of Blues crowd (most of whom undoubtedly took advantage of the free tickets) as “standing room only” is the least of its crimes. FYI to the folks on the celeb beat: In rock clubs? Most people stand because they don’t want to sit on the floor grade-school-assembly style.

Then there’s the description of Cabaret as a “Chicago hot spot.” Really? News to us. Just because you make people wait in line to join the 10 other people in the club does not make it a hot spot. Plus, how hard is it to “pack” a “small VIP section?” In short, the article is the most cringe-inducing blowjob since Chloe Sevigny’s performance in The Brown Bunny.

Way to pick sides, People. We’re sure that K-Fed love’s going to pay lots of dividends when VH1 picks up the option on “Dance Men,” the new reality-based sitcom starring K-Fed and Jennifer Lopez's ex- Ojani Noa.

OK, we made that up. But the concept’s got legs, no?

UPDATE: Local musician P. Griffin Baron has an attendee's view here.