This Week in Stupid

By Joanna Miller in News on Nov 17, 2006 7:49PM

Chicagoist loves TV. We watch way too much of it. And we enjoy finding stories that sound like they came from some of the television shows we’ve watched over the years – like, say, “Boston Public,” “Arrested Development” or “My Name is Earl.”

• A Gary, Ind., high school principal is in hot water after punching a student. Lew Wallace High School principal James Piggee confronted a 19-year-old student for misbehaving on Monday. Piggee tried to restrain the student but couldn’t, so security guards held the student down while Piggee punched him in the face. The student did not press charges, but said he would take the matter “to the streets.” Piggee has been indefinitely suspended while the school investigates the incident.
• A kidnapping in Wichita, Kan., went bad when one of the kidnappers didn’t have the balls to finish the job, literally. The 23-year-old man accidentally shot himself in the left testicle while attempting to kidnap a teenager in a dispute over stereo speakers. He stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired. But when he cringed in pain, it fired again, into his left calf. The man walked to a hospital for treatment. He and two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice.
• A Wisconsin woman tried to use a counterfeit $20 bill at a gas station earlier this week while trying to buy cigarettes and chips. The clerk quickly recognized the fake – it was blank on one side. Leah R. Jarolimek, 21, claimed she didn’t know the bill was fake. She’s been charged with a felony count of forgery. If convicted, she faces up to three years in prison and a $10,000 fine.
• In an update from last week, the deer who had its head stuck in a jack-o-lantern freed itself without any use of tranquilizers. Maybe animals aren’t so stupid? Hmm.

Counterfeit $10 - it looks real! Via Glitch010101