This Holiday Season, Don't Be An Asshole

By Alicia Dorr in News on Nov 22, 2006 2:52PM

You know, when Dennis Leary sang about how he liked to park in handicapped spaces while people made faces, he was joking. But people always have to take it a step further, taking all the fun out of calling them assholes for parking in handicapped spaces by actually being, well, assholes.

Well, this holiday season those lazies who don't want to walk on their atrophied legs a few extra feet better bear in mind - the police are cracking down. Especially at malls, where lazy people tend to congregate. At shopping centers across Illinois, the Secretary of State police will be issuing tickets to any able-bodied person parking in a handicapped spot, borrowing or using a fake or copied placard. So there.

The fines are $350 for just parking in one like a total bum, and up to $500 for illegally using someone's placard. And we say, serves 'em right. We don't really care how far you have to walk through the mall parking lot, if you didn't think about the holiday crowds before you got there, then you probably shouldn't be going to a mall anyway. You're going to have to walk in there, too, you know.

Photo via Ahajokes.com.