The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

Iconic — Or, Stereotypical — Americans Write Holiday Wish Lists

By Olivia Leigh in Miscellaneous on Dec 5, 2006 4:50PM

If you need further holiday gift recommendations after perusing our infamous Gift Guide, no one is a better authority on what your friends and family will like than a good old-fashioned stereotype.

eBay Express, the fixed-price arm of the auctioning website, recently asked for wish lists from "iconic Americans" across the country, aiming to provide "a deeper look at what Americans really want for the holidays." Some of the iconic Americans on the list include well-founded locals, like a musician and Hurricane Katrina survivor from New Orleans, a cab driver from New York City and a military wife from Fort Bragg, N.C.

2006_12_santa.jpgHowever, the list also includes a few blatant stereotypes, such as a pom captain from Texas, a personal trainer from Beverly Hills, and a rancher from Oklahoma, who wants, among other things, "sweet chokes for [his] Browning shotgun, a deer decoy, and guided Caribou hunt for two." Because, really, nothing says "I love you" like camping out in the trees waiting to make a kill.

Chicago's own iconic American may not be the first thing that comes to mind. Perhaps you were thinking blues guitarist? Maybe a corrupt politician, if you're snarky?

In fact, local fireman Dennis Szczepaniak ended up landing in the slot, with a home theater system at the top of his list.

Don't get us wrong, despite the occasional faux pas, we love our firefighters. Ripped bodies make us happy, and resting assured that we will be rescued from a fiery building makes us even happier.

But an icon of Chicago? Last we checked, it was almost 2007, not 1871 or 1991.

Image from