Mustaches for Kids - Week 2
By Matt Wood in Miscellaneous on Dec 12, 2006 3:57PM
The Mustaches For Kids growing season rounded the final turn yesterday before the Stache Bash 2006 finale next week. Growers met for the second checkpoint last night to compare their work. Chicagoist's official mustache enthusiast, Matt Wood, is happy to report that his stache, Sanchez, is coming in quite nicely, and he received the accolades yesterday to prove it. "I've heard everything from 'creepy' to 'gay' to 'nice symmetry,'" he says. "I'll take those last two as compliments." He still admits to being a bit befuddled as to why it's coming in as more of a reddish-brown shade, when the erstwhile hair on his head used to be much darker.
Matt also did some research last week to get into character, reading The Mustache, a facial hair-themed metaphysical thriller by French writer Emmanuel Carrere. The protagonist decides to shave off the mustache he's had his entire adult life to surprise his wife, who then doesn't even notice that it's gone. She goes on to deny that he ever had a mustache, as do his friends, leading him to believe that she's playing a cruel prank. Then he decides she's having an affair and plotting against him to drive him crazy, so he jumps on a plane to Hong Kong, where he regrows the stache, and his wife suddenly reappears as if nothing ever happened. But he can't live with this altered reality, so he offs himself while shaving in the bathtub. "Now I'm afraid to shave it off," Matt says. "What if this works in reverse, and my wife says that I always had a mustache. I'll have to keep it forever ..." He trailed off, then shuddered. We asked Matt's wife Debbie if this were the case, and she said, "Oh hell no. He's never had a mustache, and he's going back to not having one as soon as this thing is over."
Nightmare-inducing mustache novels aside, we still encourage you to pledge your support for Matt and the rest of the Growers. If you have already, thank you, but if not, you can still donate via the PayPal link at the M4K website. And join us next Monday, December 18 at 9 p.m. at SmartBar for Stache Bash 2006. The night will feature music, feats of mustache strength, and an awards pageant for the manly men of the hirsute upper lips.