This Week in Stupid

By Joanna Miller in News on Dec 15, 2006 10:18PM

Mutant deers, Nazi gingerbread men, depraved preschoolers and creepy teachers - it's been a busy week for stupid, so let's jump right in.

1. A 4-year-old Texas boy has been accused of sexual harassment by the La Vega Independent School District after hugging a teacher’s aid and rubbing his face into her chest. School officials say his actions warrant the accusations. We say give him a break – the little shit just wanted some motorboat action.
2. Ever wondered what you’d do if you hit a deer with your car? What if that deer had seven legs, male and female reproductive organs and nub antlers? If you’re Rick Lisko of Osceoloa, Wis., you eat it. He described the deer as “pretty weird” and said it “kind of gives you the creeps when you look at it.” But he went ahead and ate it anyway. “It was tasty,” he said.
3. Some Ohio residents are outraged by the inhabitants of a local gingerbread house – Nazi gingerbread men. Artist Keith McGuckin set up the display, titled “The Secret Lives of Gingerbread Men,” on Thursday night, the day before Hanukkah begins. He said the display was meant to provoke, not offend, and that he wasn’t away he’d set it up so close to Hanukkah.
4. A Maryland teacher is facing disciplinary action after telling three male students to urinate into a soda bottle after they asked for a bathroom break. The school requires eighth grade students to be escorted to the bathroom and the escort was not available at the time. The teacher’s name has not been released, but the county assistant superintendent for student services, Allen Brown, said it was “a dumb thing to do.”
5. A Virginia teacher has been suspended after being exposed as a “butt-printing artist.” Stephen Murmer is a popular art teacher at Monacan High School in Richmond, but outside of class he creates floral and abstract art by plastering his ass and genitals with paint and pressing them against canvas. Sold under his alter ego, “Stan Murmur,” his pieces sell for hundreds of dollars. Murmer has enlisted the help of the ACLU to fight the suspension, saying he went to great lengths to keep his teaching and art lives separate. Besides, he said, the artwork is relevant to this semester’s required reading (yep, you guessed it), “Under the Bleachers” by Seymour Butts.