Holiday Etiquette: To Tip, or Not to Tip

By Olivia Leigh in Miscellaneous on Dec 19, 2006 5:05PM

A few weekends ago, we were sitting in our apartment, thinking of all the people we would need to purchase gifts for this holiday season. Parents? Check. Significant Other? Check. Younger Cousins? Check. Check. Check. The list seemed manageable, and we felt like maybe Christmas wouldn’t take a ridiculous bite out of our wallet. But as we thought about it more, we began to think of all of the people to whom a “holiday tip” might be in order. After tallying up the potential cost, we began to feel a little dizzy and visions of sugarplums were suddenly replaced with visions of eating Cup o' Soup for a month.

We’ve spoken with a few friends about their holiday tipping practices, and found it varies wildly. Some with a bit more heft to their pocketbook tend to tip just about everyone, from the mailman to the dogwalker, manicurist to the garbageman. Another suggested giving a small amount of money only to the people you know on a personal level: maybe your regular hairdresser, but certainly not the continuously changing mail person you never see.

Etiquette experts suggest that holiday tipping is on the rise, especially as people are outsourcing more of their daily duties, such as dog walking or house cleaning. However, Cindy Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute says that, “The big thing we're seeing is a little bit of [tipping] resistance as the price of things are going up and up.” So, if you’re scared to have to pay a personal trainer an extra week’s worth of pay, amounting to more than $100, you’re not alone.

Recommendations on holiday tippping and our thoughts on the matter after the jump

In terms of whom you should tip and how much you should give, the Emily Post Institute says it varies widely, depending on: the quality and frequency of the service, your relationship with the service provider, where you live (amounts are usually higher in large cities, like Chicago), the frequency of the service or how long you have worked together, your budget, regional customs, and the type of establishment.

Several other Web sites offer detailed recommendations for how much you should tip. CNN recommends the following tips for common providers: $50-200 for apartment building superintendent; $10-80 or more each for apartment doorman/concierge; the cost of one session for personal care providers, such as manicurists, hairdressers and massage therapists; and one night’s pay plus a small gift from a child for babysitters. If you do have a friendly relationship with your USPS carrier, note that civil servants are not allowed to receive cash tips. USPS also asks that your gratuity not exceed $20 in cash value.

After poring over the advice, we’re still a bit confused. We admittedly live in a high-rise apartment (which we will be moving out of soon!) that has four doormen, nine garage attendants, and five building managers. Using median dollar amounts recommended, that’s nearly $500 for apartment staff alone! While we are generally the portrait of giving, we have a feeling a few excellent staff members might receive a decent cash tip from us, with everyone receiving a card and homemade cookies. Besides, it's always seemed a bit trite to give someone a gift at the holidays only because you're "expected to." Why not give them a gift on a random Tuesday because they're doing a good job, and you want to show your appreciation?

What about you? What are your tipping policies? Who’s on your “nice” list this season?

Image from Cookiepots.com.