This Week in Stupid
Let's call this one the "You Really Thought You Were Going to Get Away With That?" edition. This Week in Stupid would be nothing if it weren't for stupid criminals, but this week's crop seemed to take things to new levels.
An Atlanta man appeared in court this week after being charged with trying to extort $1.5 million from Oprah. She's such an easy target, you know, with only about 4,000 lawyers on retainer and a reputation for walking on water.
On Tuesday morning, a 40-year-old woman stabbed the teacher in her GED class at Malcolm X College because she couldn't understand a math problem. Barbara Dunbar, who has an arrest record including 27 misdemeanors, stabbed her teacher in the back of the shoulder as she turned to the board to point to the question. The teacher says she had already explained the problem twice.
A Merrillville man was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of a string of burglaries in Da Region. Police were able to find Phillip Miley because he left his Social Security card, check stubs, and a receipt for when he was bonded out of jail for another burglary offense.
Finally, a Homewood man is still at large after being caught impersonating a doctor at a Hazel Crest hospital Wednesday morning. Somehow, 22-year-old Kelly Fitzpatrick got into the hospital wearing a stethoscope and a lab coat, but wasn't wearing a badge and had no idea what to say when nurses questioned him. He evaded capture after running away and hitting a police officer with his car. Police know exactly who he is, however, because he has a prior criminal record and, of course, hospitals have video cameras EVERYWHERE.