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This Week in Stupid: "My Name Is Earl" Edition

By Matt Wood in News on Feb 2, 2007 2:06PM

chicagoist_200702_joy.jpgIt must be easy for the writers of "My Name is Earl" to find ideas for the show, because all they have to do follow the local police blotters. A couple of these stories are ripe for an "Earl" episode, right down to the roles tailor-made for Joy and Crab Man. We wonder how many of these idiots believe in karma.

Police in Madison, Wisconsin called lawyer Rick Petri to come pick up his client last Thursday after he had been arrested for drunken driving. But when Petri went to the station, he was arrested for drunken driving too. He used to prosecute DUI offenders for the city's attorney's office.

A judge sentenced Chicago resident George Robotis to six months in the joint for contempt of court, after being caught impersonating an attorney and representing clients in cases all over Cook County. He collected fees of $10 to $100 for his work, and even accepted a cell phone once as payment.

Algonquin police are searching for a man who has been skipping out on paying for services at spas and salons both here and in Milwaukee. Using the name Scott Kendry, he allegedly makes appointments for hair cuts, coloring, and Swedish massages, receives some of the treatments, then leaves after saying he was going to step outside to make a phone call. The man, described as "portly," told spa workers he was preparing for a Mediterranean vacation, and that he used to have six-pack abs.

A Crown Point, Indiana, couple has been charged with following a UPS truck before Christmas and stealing packages off doorsteps. Marcus McCoy and Tanya White of Harvey face up to 15 years in prison.

An intoxicated man drove his Hummer H3 to a Fort Wayne, Indiana, state police post early yesterday morning and asked for a room, thinking it was a hotel (to his credit, the post is located next to a Holiday Inn). Michael DeWitt's blood-alcohol level was twice the legal limit. He had fled the scene of a crash earlier that evening, drove to the station with his girlfriend, and parked his damaged ride right outside.

Image from the My Name is Earl Fan Site.