Alcohol Helps Men Live, Women Think, Looks Improve

By Alicia Dorr in News on Mar 5, 2007 8:06PM

Scientists have yet again discovered undeniable and totally universal evidence that alcohol is good for you. While the information may not be irrefutable or inclusive of every age, body type and income tax bracket, we'd just like to be the first to wholeheartedly embrace it.

A study presented at the American Heart Association conference showed that men who drank a small amount of alcohol, or less than a glass a day, were less likely to die from cardiovascular and overall causes. The study found that wine was the best and found that a glass a day was most likely to keep the doctor away. It wasn't a small difference, either — those who drank wine each day added nearly four years to life expectancy. This information follows previous studies showing that about the same amount of alcohol increases cognitive ability in women. So, basically, men who drink live longer, women who drink get smarter, and we all look much better to each other.

Since Chicago has a long record of being the drunkest, we are inclined to think that we are also the healthiest. We have decided to overlook the fact that these healthy stats apply to those who drink LESS than one glass per day, and that binge drinking really isn't healthy. These minor oversights are probably directly related to how often we are drunk. Ah, well.

Image via wga.hu.