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Hump Day Political News Roundup

By Kevin Robinson in News on Mar 14, 2007 4:30PM

2007_3_sunlight_cowboy.jpgWell, another week has descended upon the city by the lake, and the politicians, like the rest of us, are frolicking in this wonderful spring weather like cowboys at the beach. Let's take all the newsy tidbits that came across our desk this week and rustle them up, like the spring cattle they want to be. Who knows? Maybe one of these stories will fatten up into a vitriol-filled post we can use as a platform to spew our trademark anger at the huckstery that passes for political discourse in this town.

FBI's Chicago Office a Real Bunch of Patriots. ABC7 news is reporting that a Justice Department report indicates that the Chicago FBI Office is one of the regional headquarters that has violated and abused the Patriot Act, perhaps more than any other FBI office. According to the Justice Department report, the FBI underreported to Congress how often it forced businesses to turn over their customer data and how often it improperly or illegally obtained personal information about people in Chicago and across the country, from computer records to telephone calls. Torture advocate and sometime Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez told the press, "I will not accept the problems identified in the report. I will not be satisfied until procedures and policies that should have been followed are followed to the letter."

Michelle Obama Is Barack's Best Friend. World-weary and streetwise political reporter Lynn Sweet has uncovered the hot scoop on Michelle Obama's long-term plans for her husband's campaign for president. According to Sweet, Michelle is "an extraordinary stump speaker and potentially one of Sen. Barack Obama's most effective surrogates," as well as one of Barry's closest advisers. No word yet on whether she is going to make him sleep on the couch if he doesn't quit smoking.

College Savings Not So Bright in Illinois. llinois' Bright Start college savings program hasn't done as well at supporters had hoped, ranking 47th out of 48 other programs, nationwide. Illinois Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias has announced major changes to the program that he hopes will improve families' investment options while drastically reducing the fees that account holders pay.

Giuliani Visits Harry Caray's to Raise Some Loot. Rudolph Giuliani paid a visit to Chicago on Monday, hanging around at Harry Caray's for Diet Coke and talk of abortion, Iraq, and his favorite topic, 9/11. According to press reports, he was not wearing a dress, or kissing The Donald.

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